Ramblings of a Neglectful Blogger

*Looks at date on last post*

*Nervously runs hand over my short, curly tapered fade*

Hi, guys.

I. Um.

Okay. Fine. There’s no good reason I haven’t written in over a month. I’ve not prioritized working my creative muscles as often as I should. But here I am, hat in hand. Writing things to be writing things hoping to reignite my stagnant creative flame.

While I’ve not been blogging, I have been journaling–as in keeping my fleeting thoughts on the state of my life to myself. That doesn’t bode well for my blog, but I’ve been doing this long enough to know myself. I’ll explore things publicly when I feel compelled. That compulsion isn’t shy about announcing itself. I never have to find it.

Since the journal’s all I’ve got as far as material goes, I’ll give you a peak at where my mind has been by dropping a couple of journal snippets from the last month. May typing the words on the page today get my metaphorical pen moving once more.

February 20, 2016
Spent my day watching a show called You’re the Worst. Aside from being funny as hell, the show depicts people allowing themselves to be broken and fucked up–and getting on with life anyway.

It’s a nice reminder not to get caught up in wanting to ‘fix’ or ‘be my best self.’ A reminder it’s okay to just be.

March 1, 2016
I’m not a ‘clean’ person. If you look closely, my bedroom floor always needs to be vacuumed, but things will be generally tidy and in their designated spaces. I don’t require spotlessness. It’s clutter that drives me crazy. […]

March 10, 2016
[…] If I want to be legitimately more authentic, open and compassionate, I should be honest. Not ‘I don’t care what you think‘ honest. ‘Telling you the truth may hurt my feelings but I have to give you the opportunity to opt out‘ honest. […]

March 15, 2016
[…] But I can’t focus so hard on the fear [of losing myself] that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. I can’t live in that space.

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2 Comments

  1. Taryn Show (@YoSauceLady)

    That last statement of fear, I’m feeling that. I am seriously going through a low point in my life because absolutely nothing seems to be working out for me (at least to me it feels that way) and I have no desire to work on anything I at one point was so excited about because I have tried it all and felt like nothing has happened, and maybe it is a self fulfilling prophecy but I’m just stuck right now. Idk what my next step is in life! I’m 22 and freaking out girl! lol. Do you struggle with that at all?

    • Hi, Taryn.

      Yes, I do and have struggled with not knowing what my next steps were. There’s no reason to freak out, though, because getting lost is a natural part of life. There might be a lot of outside pressure to have it all figured out, but trust me–nobody ever does; especially not at 22. (That was 10 years ago for me, but I clearly recall thinking I knew everything only to discover when I matured that I didn’t know shit.) Be patient with yourself and be kinder to yourself. You’ll figure it out.

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