The Final Frontier

Never have lives less lived been more chronicled,” – Dennis Miller on The Dan LeBatard Show.

“Is this where it begins?” I tweeted upon seeing yet another notification that one of my friends had joined SnapChat. “Does old age start with a stubborn refusal to join new social networks?”

It was cool when it was just “the kids” with their black bar- or large white print-captioned photos and videos sneaking into my Instagram feed. When I thought thirtysomethings were aligned in boycott of new-fangled social media. That we’d all parked our rocking chairs on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr or Facebook; happy to look out on the horizon at the children and their new toys. But no. Slowly, my peers and favorite publications have tip-toed into the land of dog filters and car karaoke videos while I cling with white knuckles to my perch.

As each “follow me on SnapChat” request slides down my Twitter feed, I wonder: Have I reached the Final Frontier of Social Media?

I felt it coming. With the exception of Twitter–the best outlet for my Compulsive Chatterbox Syndrome–I’m running out of things to share. I deleted my Facebook page (again) last month because I lost all desire to keep up with it, even if that meant losing blog readers. My Instagram account has turned into a smorgasbord of moments I’m bored enough to capture: whiskey tumblers, song snippets, quotes from the books I read, the occasional selfie. I tried to get that old thing back by participating in a March Photo-A-Day Challenge, but burned out mid-month. And I mean, you’ve seen the state of this blog since the New Year, right? I haven’t exactly been consistent or engaging.

The fuck am I going to do with white block letters and dog filters?

I can’t help but wonder if the brats of #90sBabyTwitter are on to something when they say “I’m not gonna be tweeting in my thirties” (Apply this sensibility to everything but Twitter, because again–Compulsive Chatterbox Syndrome). Am I on the brink of the physical world being more intriguing than the lifestyle porn, telenovellas, and bottomless pits of debate unfolding on my phone?

Perhaps there’s more to it than “rejecting new social networks because, old.”

Perhaps the real Final Frontier is losing your F.O.M.O.

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8 Comments

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  4. Ren

    I’ve been feeling for a while that SM in general is like an apartment I’ve been living in for 10 years, and it’s a great apartment, but over the years, the riffraff has moved into the neighborhood and brought down property values. They’re loud and invasive and have no manners (and can’t spell…), and I hate having to pass through all their trash to get home. The only thing I use anymore is Twitter, and even that is becoming a hassle.

    We got the best of it. Maybe it’s time to bail and let the whippersnappers have the scraps. Go back to the deep interpersonal relationships of old–like email. 🙂

  5. Bre

    i read an article about how we non-millennial millennials hate things because we were “old” when new technology started. we were adultish when we had cell phones and texting was new so we embrace these things and need them but still need the old way and like our CDs and paperbacks but love our ipods and Kindles. we don’t HAVE to keep up but we do enough.
    but i’m a firm believer in doing just enough. and the only thing worth anything on Snapchat is DJ Khaled. so yes there are plenty of us like get off my e-lawn.

  6. I absolutely have to crack up at this given I am one of those #90sBabies literally approaching 30. Social media isn’t the same and while I hold on for dear life to it (twitter) I’m *this* close to wrapping things up. Maybe it comes with getting older but I’m over social media- I’d rather have one on one/in person convos/connections.

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