You’re done. You’ve deleted the text threads. Changed his name to “Do Not Call.” Unfollowed, muted, and blocked him into Social Media Purgatory. What else do you need?
A break-up playlist.
Not the Amy Winehouse-I’m-devastated-and-holed-up-in-my-room-with-a-bottle-of-wine playlist. You need a You-Got-Me-Fucked-Up-And-I’m-Out playlist. I’m talking busted windows, freak ’em dresses, and a PowerPoint presentation detailing why he’s not worth a damn without you.
Enter #SkinnyBlackJams: Break Up Songs. Tunes for yell-singing car karaoke sessions and packing up everything that reminds you of him (unless it’s expensive).
Here are my personal favorites:
“You Oughtta Know” – Alanis Morissette
He got a new girl on ya, huh? Alanis has the cure for that. “Does she know how you told me you’d love me until you died? Til you died? But you’re still alive…” This song also includes the line “And every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back, I hope you feel it.” My kinda revenge.
“Wrong Song”- Nashville Cast featuring Hayden Panettiere & Connie Britton
From the defunct prime time soap opera about the country music industry comes the classic country girl’s “you got me fucked up” anthem. “Don’t know what kinda spell you think I’m under. This ain’t a feels-good-everything’s-fine-sing-a-long…” Also on the list: “Before He Cheats.”
“What Goes Around…/…Comes Around” – Justin Timberlake
Little bit of testosterone on the list. For when your ex’s life falls apart and you take quiet joy in the train wreck. “Just a classic case scenario. Tale as old as time. Girl, you got what you deserved.” Also on the list: “Cry Me a River.”
“G.H.E.T.T.O.U.T.” – Changing Faces
I have no idea why this song title was spelled this way. But this oldie but goodie works when you’ve heard your last excuse and are ready to be done, but not before getting his half on the bills. “Just give me half of the rent and get of out of here…”
“Without Me” – Fantasia featuring Kelly Rowland and Missy Elliot
For that ex who tries to stunt a little too hard like you don’t know his whole act is a sham. “What would you be without me? So what, you blowin’ up just a little? They knowin’ you a little. Don’t give a finger in the middle. Cuz lil’ nigga, you will never be…” The “lil’ nigga” really nails the point. Also on the list: “Free Yourself.”
“Green Light” – Beyonce
I once listened to this song 52 consecutive times. It was a rough week. Bey came through with the reminder to let go of a man who’s too cool to treat you right. “Ain’t no problem. You can go. I will find somebody else. It’s alright, I’ll move along. You got the green light. So you can go.” Also on the list: “Irreplaceable.”
“I Told You So” – Solange
“I know the newness of it all seems right. But baby, I’m no fool and I’ve got pride.” Say you’re a cynic who foresaw the end of your relationship at the beginning and is ultimately proven right. Solange gives the real for girls who are too practical to lose their heads in love. “I know your calls, your sweet messages will turn from daily just to make me smile to plain necessary.”
You can check out the full playlist below or by clicking this link: #SkinnyBlackJams: Break Up Songs. Feel free to add your favorite break up songs in the comments.