It’s okay.

You’ve known who you are for years. A woman who relishes solitude and freedom to move through life untethered. You wrestle with describing and depicting it. Sometimes you nail it with eloquence. Often you’re standing on a table in a crowded room shrieking at an uninterested audience. You’ve examined yourself. You’ve observed the world. You’ve tried to find places and people who will have you, this you who needs solitude and space. You’ve justified it. To your mother. To your friends. To your lovers. To your blog readers. To the messy pages of your journal.

I need you to know it’s okay.

This is who you’ve always been. You have my permission to be it.

By all means, express yourself. Feed your curiosity about other women who prefer solitude to companionship. Soak up their stories; find bits of yourself in them. Tell the world what you discover in learning and living.

But step away from the judge’s bench. Close your briefcase. Leave the courtroom. Case closed.

Go live.



  1. Willow

    I’d like read more about the women who prefer solitude to companionship. I really appreciate your perspective; from where I sit, it is quite rare. I’m still learning to navigate my path amidst societal expectation. Are you on goodreads? Are there any books you’d recommend?

    • Thanks for reading/commenting! I’m glad this resonated with you.

      I barely use my GoodReads, but here are some of my recent reads about non-traditional, single and/or childless women:
      Spinster – Kate Bolick (I’m reading this now. Pretty good so far)
      Shallow, Selfish & Self-Absorbed – Megan Daum
      The Art of Sleeping Alone – Sophie Fontanel
      Seductress – Betsy Prioleau

      I also recommend the blogger Justine Musk.

      • Willow

        Thank you so much for your response and recommendations! Your words certainly do resonate with me. A lot of what you write about feels like validation to my inner monologue. I look forward to reading more.

        Thanks, again!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.