#NaBloPoMo: More Than Enough

I forget how hard I’ve worked to make it to “okay.”

My life has a steady rhythm–a job I enjoy, paid bills with a little leftover to have some fun, time and energy for my creative pursuits. I’m addicted to the stillness; to the freedom found in routine.

The proverbial mountaintop teases me via my social media feeds. I could be better traveled. Open to sharing my life with a partner. Have less back fat and thicker eyebrows and clearer skin. Get an agent and pitch my writing to real publications. Ground myself in mystical, spiritual practice. Attend more hashtag-titled parties in glittery dresses.

Sometimes I look around at my cozy little spot on the mountain side and wonder why it is enough.

Then I look down.

The climb to this plateau was a bitch.

The scars have faded but every now and then, I touch the bruises I’ve acquired scrapping and clawing to this point. I did not settle for “okay.” I bled for it.

I remember when I couldn’t even see the point of steppin’ out the muthafuckin’ house. Let it go, let it go, let it gooooo. We came too far… – Anderson .Paak, “Celebrate.”

This quiet little life of mine with its structures and routines is beautiful because I made it so. The mountaintop is alluring, but I’ve tilled this soil. Right here. I am grateful to sip wine and watch its flowers bloom.

I am okay. And it is more than Enough.

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2 Comments

  1. Sefakor

    I can’t say enough about how much I love this piece. Had a mentally tough 2016 and wanted nothing else but to be “ok”. I’ve been mostly ok in 2017 and working to not let my AA nature push me back into the rabbit hole. I keep coming back to this piece as a reminder to self. Thank you.

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