Skinny Bits: Oopsie

Scene: 6:50 A.M. On my way to work, I walk to my car and am confused when my key doesn’t immediately work. I jiggle the handle, the door opens, and I get in; figuring the frigid temperatures have somehow manipulated the lock. But my car smells like Black & Mild cigars. Why does my car smell like Black & Mild cigars? I look around. My slightly messy car is trashed.

Have you guessed what happened yet? That’s right. My dumbass got in the wrong Hyundai. My car, parked two spaces down, was in its normal, mildly messy condition.

No harm, no foul, right? Except when I get to work, I realize I don’t have my Special K breakfast shake. It’s where? You guessed it. In the stranger’s Hyundai.

God said keep it classy / Heaven marked you absent.” Can’t stop listening to Nick Grant’s “Return of the Cool” album. More on that at the end of the month when I recap my favorite January listens for #SkinnyBlackJams.

If you’re a blogger who gets her clicks writing about the joys of single life, then gets into a relationship, do us all a favor: don’t start writing about how “broken” the “Cool Girls” are. Your graduation from Tinder swipes to Sunday morning cuddles doesn’t make the rest of us choosing to fly solo “broken.”

A close friend is newly boo’d up and reported the news like this: “I bought a new moisturizer that I love and picked up a boyfriend so 2017 is alright with me.” That’s how you do it.

#ThisIs30Something in two examples:

  • Me: I’ll stay up until 10:30 P.M. to watch the Thunder / Warriors game.
    Also Me: *Turned off the TV at 9:30 and went to sleep*
  • Also Also Me: I am having the best orgasms of my life.

My fabulous fashion blogger friend wrote about bossing up in 2017. *proud friend tear*

Can you believe Songs About Boys has been out for three months? Now that so many of my wonderful readers have purchased it (and thank you to every last one of you), we have to spread the word outside the World of SBG. Make sure to add, rate, and review Songs About Boys on GoodReads. Be the hipster friend that exposes your people to the underground “it” thing.

If you’ve yet to buy your copy of Songs About Boys, maybe this sample will move you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *