#SkinnyBlackRant: What’chu Like?

(Thanks for asking, Tyrese.)

I hate motivational morning texts.

This extends to motivational morning anything. Forced cheerfulness makes me stabby. I prefer to thank whatever gods may be and get on with the day sans “rah rah.”

Why does this matter?

Because if you’re trying to date me, I won’t respond well to your Jim Harbaugh-inspired morning texts.

I won’t call you corny or screenshot you for Twitter laughs. I’ll merely say “I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t do the whole ‘Let’s get up and conquer the day’ thing.” I’ve said this to men before. They chuckled or remarked on how “different” I was, but no one accused me of being an ungrateful bitch for communicating my preferences.

Twitter, on the other hand…

I tweeted this. It didn’t go well.

Replies varied between “You don’t want your dude to motivate you? Y’all women need help” and “See? Y’all chicks don’t like nice guys. Y’all want assholes.”

Let’s talk about this. Why does a woman expressing a simple dislike set off such an angry reaction? You (as a man) extend a kindness, hoping for a positive response. I thank you for the spirit of the gesture, but am not moved because it does nothing for me. If your goal is to get to know me or make me happy, why is “Thank you, but I don’t like that” so upsetting?

Perhaps it’s not about what I like? It’s about you checking some general “thoughtful” box in a paint-by-numbers seduction that has little to do with what I want. I should desire nothing more than your attention, in whatever package it presents itself.

That’s gonna be a “no” from me, dawg.

To make sure I wasn’t trippin’, I did a survey. Meaning, I asked a guy who’d been on the receiving end of a “Thanks, but no thanks.”

(No one retweeted this, by the way. Guess it didn’t fit the “these women don’t appreciate nice things” narrative.)

The moral of this post?

There’s a difference between being thoughtful and wanting to appear thoughtful. Taking the time to learn what gets ME going? Thoughtful. A cookie cutter gesture you think “girls like?” Not so much.

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One Comment

  1. Bryan W

    I’d rather wake up and see some interesting news, a funny post or a message just for me (poetic musing) than receive a generic ass chain message. And if it’s a Joel Osteen wrote…me and that person are no longer friends.

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