Happy Holidays, Pod People

I had high hopes this holiday season. I would make a trip to downtown Cleveland to take pictures of the Christmas lights. Go to the Holiday Jazz Revue at Karamu House. Drink warm, bourbon-y Christmas drinks. Promote peace on earth and goodwill toward my mother/landlord/63-year old hoarder roommate who never stops talking.*

That’s not how things worked out. On a positive note, I summoned enough joy to decorate my department and hand out Christmas cards at work, pulled myself out of bed one night to take photos of the light display closest to my house, and played charming plus one to C at her company Christmas party. When the holiday weekend rolled around, however, I spent a total of three hours outside my bedroom until Tuesday morning. Occasionally, I scrolled Instagram from my cozy bed, aghast at how many of you ENJOYED spending time with PEOPLE (or at least taking pictures with people–also laborious). Meanwhile, I fervently prayed my mother wouldn’t knock on my door or call my name or require anything of me for 72 hours.

In short, the holiday spirit skipped me this year. There’s hope for New Year’s Eve. I plan to be in a dress with a glass of champagne in hand. We’ll see.

I’ve been on this kick about the phones and social media. A Christmas-hating co-worker added to this by gifting me a copy of George Orwell’s 1984 after I told him The Handmaid’s Tale scared the shit out of me. I started reading it Friday afternoon. Within the first five pages, I hid my phone in a desk drawer** after noticing how much our phones scream at us.

OUR ALGORITHM THINKS YOU SHOULD READ THIS TODAY
HOW TO LIVE OUR VERSION OF YOUR BEST LIFE INCLUDING CLEAR SKIN & TRAVEL PHOTOS
LATEST CELEBRITY TREND THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD JUMP ON THAT YOU TOTALLY CAN’T AFFORD
HERE’S HOW [IMPERFECT, BUT HUMAN BEHAVIOR] IS RUINING YOUR LIFE

I won’t go full Analog Girl in a Digital World yet, but the digital world will not dictate the terms of my real ass existence. I will be mindful where I sacrifice privacy for efficiency. I will read more paperback books. I will not neglect paper-to-pen journaling because Evernote is easier. I will consume less–my bad, Stannis–fewer opinion pieces. I will trust the life I have is enough and not want more for the sake of wanting.

I will not submit to being a screen-worshipping pod person without a fight, gotdammit.

Footnotes
[*] I have one resolution for 2018: financial preparation to get the hell out of this apartment.
[**] Was I hiding my phone or hiding from my phone?! Big Brother is Watching.

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