Attack of the Ahistorical Music Takes

Scrolling Instagram this morning, I came across this post: 

I was in college–in OHIO–when this song came out. I promise: PEOPLE OUTSIDE NEW YORK, PHILLY, AND NEW JERSEY FUCKING KNOW “WHAT WE DO” BY FREEWAY, BEANIE SIGEL, AND JAY-Z. THERE IS AN ENTIRE AGE GROUP FOR WHOM THIS WAS A GOLDEN AGE OF RAP. SO, UNLESS BY “PEOPLE” YOU MEAN “NO ONE WHO REMEMBERS MUSIC RELEASED BEFORE 2012,” THIS IS PATENTLY FALSE.

Is that what this is, kids? Does being over 30 mean you’re no longer a person? Are these children denying my very personhood, because “old”? 

These children left behind are why a karaoke-singing garden gnome declared himself the King of R&B. Why we’ve had to explain that Mariah Carey is fucking MARIAH CAREY and not “the chick who made ‘All I Want for Christmas is You.'” 

This is violence. I am triggered. Somebody create an Internet safe space for 30+ year-olds. I’m tired of being assaulted by these ahistorical music takes from children who think “Crank Dat Soulja Boy” is “old school.” 

Please help. 

2 Comments

    • Girl. GIRL. I am flabbergasted. I don’t expect everyone to know everything about music, ever. But, come the fuck on. They couldn’t come up with a more accurate phrasing on the post? Like “Ask your older brother/sister/cousin about this 2003 hit” or SOMETHING that gives the song (and its popularity) proper respect?

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