Stop Trying?

One of my aims for #TheMagicYear is “stop trying.” There is a need for validation lurking in my subconscious. I’m digging into it and at the root is a lack of certainty. I don’t know that anything exists (including myself) unless it is reflected in a physical, material way. Being prone to anxiety and depression, deciphering intuition from delusion is so tedious a task, I rely on what I can touch, see and feel to determine truth. (Even when I see things, I’m not certain I’m seeing them correctly.) So I’m constantly double-checking; seeking confirmation that I’m right, that I’m real, that I’m portraying myself the way I wish to be seen.

If this sounds exhausting at all, that’s because it is.

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Clean Slate Protocol

It started when I decided to change web hosts.

What should have been a simple process of moving content from one host to another was…markedly less than simple. I wish I could tell you what happened. Something about SQL databases, backup files, and servers. After two weeks of tech support tickets with no solutions, I wondered:

Would it really be so bad to start from scratch?

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